Warning: this is not finance related AT ALL. The content is purely work-related ranting!
I just received an email from someone (a man) at another company working on a project I am ... well helping to manage (for lack of shorter way of summarizing what I am doing). In this email he addresses myself AND HIS FEMALE BOSS in this manner:
"You girls can also suggest, make and change anything you'd like."
I am trying not to be offended by the term "girls" but I am, and I am sure some of you all will tell me to get over myself, but here is why I find it inappropriate in this instance:
1. He addresses his boss in this informal manner, and since she is a good colleague of mine, I know she does not have that level of informality with him.
2. He addresses me in this manner, and I hardly know him.
3. He is younger and far less experienced than his boss or myself, and we are having to pick up the slack in his work for him because his listening skills are poor.
4. He is asking for help to edit or write an important interim report for a client, not hosting a kegger.
5. Mr W has past experience with this person and he was less than respectful to him, the project we had hired him for (on subcontract), or myself (whom he had never met). So I am already biased, but trying hard to overcome this bias. It's not working.
I don't mind being called a girl in an informal setting. Both my female and male friends say it all the time, and I never think about it. In a work situation, I tend to prefer more formality however, likely because I am highly educated female working in a male dominated field (and thus am more sensitive?).
Interesting from my perspective that I found out how much it bothers me to be called a "girl" in a professional situation. Does this bother anyone else? Or is it just a term that is acceptable to use, even in professional situations?
The lack of care of offending someone is interesting isn't it?
I've worked with young men like this guy that you described and they in particular get under my skin. It's like they're trying to be cool or something, but it comes off as disrespectful and unprofessional. It's not a frat house, it's work!
Is that okay, do you think? For background, 2 of the 3 girls at my current job worked with me at another company (for my father) for 5+ years and one of them is close enough to have been at my dad's private family only funeral.
We are pretty caz at our office though and terribly inappropriate and not at all pc :)
On another (similar) note, my boss often refers to us as "kids", our ages range from 27-36...it kind of bugs me, how would you feel about that?
Tip for guys reading this: just don't bother with mentioning gender. You can easily say "y'all" or "any of you" "you" etc.
DJ I would hate to be called a kid, that isn't professional either. I recently chiding a colleague who kept referring to himself as old and myself and a few others as the young ones. I don't think of him that way at all - I think of him and us as equals, not one way or the other.
Nancy, it still seems like we have to fight for rights sometimes, even though we like to all talk about how progressive we are- you are right it wasn't that long ago that we had even less.
Ms M&P, yes, it is like he is trying to be cool, I know what you mean. I actually think he feels a little threatened that his boss and I have more education than him, but it is just a hunch. He is hiding it in a too casual attitude.